April fool’s day

April already?? How time flies!!! It is so cloudy today.

The weather hasn’t been normal, and I won’t be surprise if some scientist tells me that mother earth is pms-ing. Or is our mother earth going through menopause?? I hope it is not the latter; else we are approaching the end of the world.

There had been much news circulating about global warming, iceberg melting and so on, but I usually read them like some random updates. Much emphasis on protecting mother earth had fallen on deaf ears, until I read a particular article on the net.

That is- the scientist are going to build a seed vault in the Artic, in preparation for doomsday. It is meant to help the world survive a catastrophic event, such as an asteroid strike. In it, will house up to 3 million seeds from the different crops worldwide and would be kept at sub zero temperature.

How frightening!!! We have angered mother earth so much that she had decided turn nasty against us!! I guess she felt betrayed by her children, for taking so much from her and leaving a mess behind. She is going to punish us!!

Ok, enough of this. But much had been happening recently, and I feel so tired, dread, sianz, nua… Just like mother earth, my weather hasn’t been quite sunny recently.

Yesterday, before going over to yf’s place his steamboat birthday party, I lie down on the floor, in the middle of my living room. I stared at the clock on the wall as its second hand ticked with a constant rhythm. I was hypnotized…

I felt so old; I don’t have the energy to carry on. There is no motivation, no one to lend me a support. I am all alone to fight this battle. The path ahead is misty and gloomy. I am afraid of the dark, but I still have to walk down this path, alone.

I always smile and pretend that everything is alright. But in fact, I am tangled up inside, and I am suffocating. I felt so confused, lost and becoming impatient with myself. My tears are invisible.

I remembered that my boss consoled me. He said – Don’t let the dark side of life tie you down, there are more things in life to look forward to.

But still, going through certain phases of life alone is challenging. Decisions to make, a wrong step might be fatal. No one can make a decision, only me.

I turned my head to face the window. An eagle spread its wings and soars high in the sky. I longed to untangle myself, breakaway and fly away.

I am tired, so tired…

My hp beeps. It was jl who hurried me out of my house. I gathered all my strength, get up and headed to yf’s place.