If I am a guy

If I’m a guy, I will be a jerk.

Since good guys will probably not have girlfriends, I choose to be a jerk. Like always, jerks will have one official girlfriend and many unofficial ones, because all girls fall for jerks. My official girlfriend will be the girl next door - quiet, demure and will be treated like my puppy. She will be at home from 10pm onwards, while my life only begins after 11.

If you think my puppy-like gf will be treated like my precious, you are wrong!! How nice can a jerk be?? But I really need her to comfort me when I am down, talk to when I am bored; heal my wound when my other girlfriends hurt me. Seriously, I need her!!!

Well, my official girlfriend is unlike my unofficial ones. She is such a chore. She PMS, she message me when I am busy, she gets jealous, and doesn’t even allow me to touch her!!! I am so deprive, and you really can’t blame me for touching my other girlfriends when they allow me to do so… those sexy bodies, I could embrace them one by one.

Hanging out with all my unofficial girlfriends are fun!! I luv them all, we party like monkeys, we talk about the dirtiest topic in town, we hang out together but no strings attached. That is the best part.

My official girlfriend is boring, all she does is surf net, ask me out to shop, and spend more time with her, that’s all. Hello… I am a guy!! Do all that with your friends or other nerds, not with me!! Though I am a jerk, I do spend time with my gf, provided it is worth it.

Sometimes, I could forget that I am attached, in name. I don’t even keep her photo; I can’t even remember the last piece of clothing she wore, partially because she is sooo boring to hang out with, and partially because I am a jerk. But honestly, I still need her. Good girls are hard to come by, especially one that falls for me, obeying every word that I say.

How can she leave me?? She can’t possibly leave me when I make her feel that I am the best man in this world, no one wants her except me, and she will never find someone better than me!! I am irreplaceable, you know??

Life is such a bitch!!! You must be glad, that I’m not a guy…haha!!


Happy New Year 2008!!!

If you are wondering, that bottle of Heineken isn't mine, I was just posing. I am still stuck to my baby girl's drink - the non-alcoholic passion fruit eski cooler!!