Love is patient, love is kind, but love is selfish too…

As we are preparing for our big day, I have been surfing bridal forums alot. The process of wedding preparation is fun but getting a little stressful, as we started counting down to the day.  I am glad my friend added me into the bride-to-be 2013 secret facebook group where ladies shared information and ideas. It helped cut down on the time needed for doing research and it has been a great platform to share excitements among fellow brides.

Girls being girls, there will be lots of gossiping. Like mother-in-law stories, calling off wedding due to disagreement in wedding preparations, husband change in attitude after marriage etc. For one, I came across a thread that talks about inviting the ex.

Fortunately or unfortunately, most wedding couples are not each other’s first love. With the wedding bells ringing and the announcement of the nuptial date, it is time to send out the invites.

That sets me thinking. Will you be affected if your partner’s ex is attending your wedding? It is a fact that he/she came before you. They were once a happy couple and shared many beautiful memories. Sure enough, they may have broken up long ago and had already moved on, but inviting an ex may stir up all kinds of anxieties.

In my opinion, I think that once people become lovers, it is almost impossible to revert back to a platonic friendship. Even if there is really nothing going on between your partner and the ex, tongues may still wiggle among friends. So, why not save the trouble and omit having the presence of an ex who is a huge reminder of the past and a bad breakup, from hanging around in a ballroom? Moreover, the most important person on your wedding day is your groom/bride. Why risk making your better half, who you will be spending the rest of your life with, unhappy?

A wedding celebration should involve guests that the couple feels comfortable with. After all, weddings are happy occasions and having an ex around not only spoilt the fun but also make it feels like a less than prefect matrimony.

As such, I think love is selfish. It is an intertwined relationship between two persons, only two. Ex-es should not be allowed. 

My Braces Journey

I have ditched my braces for almost 3 weeks!!! Hooray!!! Decided to write about my teeth straightening journey which I started almost 3 years ago, and I am loving my new smile. =) In case you are thinking of fixing your crooked teeth, I will share my experience and problems I've encountered during my journey.

Back in year 1998, I was referred by my school’s dentist to the National Dental Centre Singapore. Mum brought me there for my consultation and the next consultation was scheduled 3 years later. Yes, they are THAT efficient… Unfortunately, I forgot about the followup and…. end of the story.

Fast forward 12 years later, I went to my dental surgeon (Dr Chen) for a routine scaling and polishing and complained that I always bite my tongue accidentally due to a tooth hiding behind. My gums were also weaker and always bleeding due to overcrowding issue and poor oral health. Dr Chen brought up the topic on braces but at that moment, I brushed it aside as thought I was too old for it anyway.

Then came one day, my phone rang and I was told to pose as a model for my school’s publicity brochure.  All was well but I was quite disturbed that my teeth kind of spoilt the photo. That was the moment I began considering braces seriously. It was also a foresight because I do not want to regret having crocked teeth for my wedding photo-shoots in a few years time. Yes, I always plan well-ahead. =)

That is me on my school's brochure. Everything was prefect except my teeth.  

So, I did a thorough search online and feed myself with tons of information before scheduling an appointment with Dr Chen. I was glad that he explained the entire process patiently, discussed the cost involved, mentioned the type of braces available, estimated the duration for treatment and answered all my questions. I knew I was in safe hands and decided to start my treatment with him.

The first step was getting the X-ray done. I was referred to a clinic at Ang Mo Kio and it costed $80.25 for 2 X-rays. Dr Chen then cast a mold of my existing teeth and studied it carefully before concluding that I had to extract 4 pre-molars to ease the overcrowding and make space for straightening. That was done over 2 visits, one week apart, and it costed $50 per extraction. The extraction process was really barbaric and I think I have already blogged about it here. 

My 4 pre-molars!!

After extraction, my gums were allowed to heal for one week before putting on the brackets. I opted for damon braces instead of the traditional braces because it will speed up the treatment time and visit to the dentist will be less frequent. I paid $1500 to start my treatment and for every subsequent followup, I paid $150 for the next 16 visits. 

It wasn't easy during the first few days after having braces on. My jaws felt tight and my gums were so painful as though someone punched me in the mouth. I only survived on liquid food and I talked funny. The most worry-some issue was my PhD confirmation presentation and I was so afraid that I cannot pronounce many words well. Thus, I rehearse my presentation over and over again, with the brackets rubbing on my inner cheek, causing split skin and ulcers all over my mouth. I paid a high price for a prefect presentation, but it was all worth it.   

Subsequent visits were less daunting. Dr Chen will either change or tighten the wires, add a few spring bands or perform some metal artwork with my teeth. I always stare in awe at his intrigued art piece on my teeth and wonder how much patient goes into it... Towards the end of my treatment, Dr Chen will adjust my bite by giving me dental homework. I was to hook a rubberband between my upper and lower jaws diligently until my next visit. Those tiny rubber bands tend to snap in my mouth when I yawn. It kind of kept me awake in that sense.  

Due to my lower tolerance to pain, Dr Chen also opted to do tightening with transparent rubberband most of the time. However, the main drawback was in my diet. I must keep clear of food like curry and tea or I risk having yellow-stained rubberband. As such, I always indulged in curry a day before my dental appointment. =P

I cannot bite the corn.

Dental hygiene is the most important when having braces on. Food particles always get stuck between the brackets and wires and personally, I think it is extremely embarrassing to have green vegetables hanging on the wires. Carrying a pocket mirror and toothpicks will be very helpful. Toothbrush also seemed to wear off faster than ever, and I need to change my toothbrush once every 2 months.

On 23 February 2013, Dr Chen decided it was time to take my braces off. He cleaned and polished my newly straighten set of teeth before making a mould for my retainer. I was elated and loving my new smile. Dr Chen then took some pictures for his record and I was to go back and collect my retainer the next day.

Unlike those wire retainers that look like dentures, Dr Chen gave me vacuum formed retainer, similar to invisalign. It is transparent and look really good and comfortable.  That concludes my braces journey and looking at myself in the mirror today, I never regretted getting my teeth fixed. If you are considering braces, go for it. One life, live it to your prettiest!!!

Happy things

Time flies. I have neglected my blog for almost 2 months!! Though I should be working at this unearthly hour at 11 pm, I chose to let it loose. The sudden urge to write something happy had overwhelmed my emotions.

Yes, I got a job. Today is only my third working day and I already felt like quitting. That aside, I keep reminding myself to think positive, and think of my superiors as employees who will always work for money for the rest of their lives. Well, at least that makes me happy!! I want to retire before 40, preferable by 35 and redeem myself, my time. And it will not be accomplished by trading my time. I will imagine that my bank account being auto-refueled every month, until my deathbed. But the challenges I am facing now is enormous. How can I manage my family, friends and LZ if I have to work till the wee hours for the next 10 years? And when children come into the picture (if I even have time to make babies after marriage at all), will I even have the chance to spend quality time with them? I wonder…

The next happy thing is – my braces are off!!!! Yay!!! After 2 and a half years of inconvenience and embarrassments of having food particles, especially greens, stuck between my teeth!! It is worthy of  a celebration. I think I will keep this topic for another blog post when I have some time to spare.

Next, the reason for neglecting this blog for 2 months was because I was cooking something underneath – my degree!! Another Yay!!! I was extremely stressed up preparing for my oral exams earlier this month and I am so glad it is over. For now, I shall wait patiently for my convocation. So pardon my absence for the last 2 months.

From now, I must remember to count my blessings every single day!!! 

12 happenings to sum up 2012

     1. Restart blogging.

After leaving my blog idle for years, I finally restarted blogging!! Yay!!! Welcome myself back!!

2. Made 32 friends this year.

According to facebook, I’ve made 32 new friends this year. On average, 2.6 friends per month. Not too bad huh??

3. Went for multiple Yoga classes.

Thanks to Groupon Singapore, I hopped around different schools attending Yoga classes and stretching some muscles at really cheap rates!!

4. Bought a new computer

My lappy isn’t dead yet. But it is already an antique. Thus, I invested in my sexy new computer with wireless keyboard and mouse. Neat and tidy!!

5. Visited Jiu Zhai Gou

The magnificent view speaks for itself.

6. Free trip to Korea including visit to Yeosu Expo!!

I'm blessed!!! Thanks to my school for the nomination, I went to Korea for practically free!!! I love my life!!!

7. Climbed the Great Wall of China

On a separate trip to China, I finally climbed the Great Wall!! I’ve blogged about it here.

8. Visited my alma mater for the first time since graduation

Isn’t my school pretty?? That’s where I spent my teenage years.

9. Bridesmaid for Amanda

My very first close friend got hitched!! And I am one of her bridesmaid.

10. Broke an arrow with my throat.

It was a mind game. I overcame my fears and broke the arrow with my throat!! I nearly cried!!

11. Submitted my thesis

Yay!!! After so much blood, sweat, tear and fart… I submitted my thesis!!!

12. Got engaged!!

That’s the most memorable and wonderful thing that happened in 2012!! 

May 2013 be an awesome year too!! Happy New Year!!

Wedding Ang Bao

2012 is finally coming to an end, and many of my friends got married this year!! Weddings are joyous occasions to celebrate love. But under the beautiful facet of love, it boils down to money. In Singapore, weddings are getting ridiculously expensive, because bridal shops and wedding venues know that they can only earn once from each couple in their lifetime, and couples are willing to spend extravagantly on a “once in a lifetime” event. As such, the prices just keep going up.

   

Yes, weddings are all about the depth of your pocket. From proposal ring, wedding bands, si dian jin, bridal studios, banquet venue, photography and videography, it cost!!! It is no wonder that the so call “rates for ang bao” is circulating on the net.

What are we advocating with such so call – rates??

Traditionally, ang baos refer to red packets containing money that symbolizes blessing. It is a token in the Chinese custom usually given out during Chinese New Year, weddings, baby showers etc. However, with such rates made known to guest, weddings are becoming commercialized fundraising ceremony for the reunion of two families. =(

Having said that, it is sad that some couples choose to hold lavish weddings they can ill afford, and when the ang bao received cannot cover their cost, they blamed everyone except themselves.  How can couples expect guest to pay exorbitant price for food that cost merely a few hundreds on a normal day, when the guest took time off just to attend the wedding? And at the end of the day, who are the ones laughing all the way to the bank?? The hotels!!!

As much as I believe that couples should spend within their means, guests should also turn down an invitation if he/she is not too close to the couple. It is quite upsetting and embarrassing to see empty seats and food wastage. Being a guest, it is just fair to give a token of blessing that they deemed appropriate for the friendship. It is all about balance.

The key for a wedding banquet is the celebration of love. If the objective is sharing of joy, not expecting to earn a bonus out from the ang baos, then all else matter less.

Just my two cents worth.

Alright, I am heading out with friends for a celebration. Merry Christmas and enjoy the joyous holiday!!! HoHoHo!!!

The blue tent

There was no one in sight. Just me standing from a police blue tent merely a few meters away. It was morbid. Never in my life have I felt so strange….

I met up some friends for dinner and went home happily after a meal. It was almost 11pm and I chatted with LZ over the phone while walking home. It was a nice and peaceful night, just like any other night.

Nearing my house, something was wrong. Very wrong. 4 police cars parked at the side of the road, and my block was cordoned off. No one was in sight, not even the regular uncle who smokes at the void deck every night. The atmosphere was exceptionally tense under the cover of night, and the air was still.  

I sensed that something was amiss, as my heart started pumping faster. I was nervous as I continue talking to LZ, while trying to keep my calm. Then I saw it – the police blue tent, just a few meters away from the lift lobby. Shivers tickled down my spine. Someone jumped.

As I was waiting for the lift, I mumbled a prayer hastily. The lift door open and some police officers, investigators and a photographer stepped out. I think I looked shocked.  

I hope the person’s family will tide through this painful period.

Oriental hair solutions

Out of the blue, I received a call from Oriental hair solutions two week ago and they were providing me a complimentary hair scalp treatment. My hair is perfectly healthy and I thought it was a scam. So I rejected the offer. But last week, I received the call again. This time, the person over the phone said Jean Yip subsidiary – Oriental hair solutions is pleased to provide me a complimentary hair scalp treatment.

Now, the difference is - Branding. Nobody knows Oriental hair solutions, but everyone knows Jean Yip group. I gladly took up the offer, since it is FREE. Yes, I like free stuff!! Who doesn’t? But one thing kept ringing in my mind. I have never step into any Jean Yip salon for hair cut or treatment. Where did they get my information from, and why are they so nice??

So last Friday, I went down to the salon, with anticipation. The salon was inside a pretty nice building, standing alone in the middle of some older structures, right next to the road. The six floor building is called Jean Yip loft. Clean and classy, with a little tinned of coziness. The staff welcomed and guided me into a consultation room, where I filled in my particulars on a yellow form.

The form

My consultant was Sharon, and the first question I posted to her was – why me? I then found out that there was a friend’s referral program going on and my contact was deposited into their system. So whoever wrote my name down, I thank you!!!

Sharon scanned my scalp and took some pictures to find fault about my hair. And according to her, my hair was greying, scalp too oily, and pores were blocked. She proceeded to recommend additional treatments to solve my problems, which cost a whopping $88. HAHAHA…. I knew it, sales gimmick.

Of course I rejected her offer since I came with the mindset of a FREE treatment and have no intention of pulling out my wallet. With no choice, Sharon ushered me into a seat and served a cup of ginger tea. It felt very much like a salon, except having no hair on the floor.

A cup of Ginger Tea 

A hair specialist then came over with a bottle of purple spray, which she claimed to open up the pores. She rubbed the cooling liquid all over my scalp and massaged my head. I fell asleep~

Then she poured some shampoo and continued massaging my head, I proceeded to drool~

Next I lied down as someone washed and conditioned my hair. It was so relaxing that I dreamed~  I love it!!

Then I was back at my seat when the lady and poured a bottle of ampoule into bowl, which she claimed to cleanse and nourish my scalp. It has a strong herbal smell but very cooling on my scalp. She then steamed my head after putting on a shower cap attached to a machine. This time, I couldn’t sleep because it was hot and water vapour kept escaping from my forehead!! It felt rather funny and weird.   

Looking weird in an expanded shower cap. Haha!!

After 20 min or so, the treatment was done. My hair was dried and some serum was pattered onto the ends of my hair. Sharon then ushered me back into the consultation room and took some pictures of my scalp again. This time, she began selling me scalp treatment package at $688 for 6 treatments. When I won’t concede, she tried to convince me into buying a bottle of 300ml shampoo for $48. So I asked her what was the difference between Ba Wang, System 4, Natur Vital, Iden and the shampoo she was trying to sell me. To my surprise, she had never heard of all the shampoos I talked about, except Ba Wang!!! So I asked her to explain the different between Ba Wang and her shampoo.

Top row - Ampoules, Mid Row - Spray used during the treatment, Bottom row - Shampoos

She started to look nervous, and answered my question with only one statement – 终止Ba Wang 不好，你不要用就对了(Ba Wang is not good, just don’t use it). So apparently, she didn’t know the differences and have limited knowledge on their competitors’ products. After which, she was in a hurry to get me out of the salon, no longer pestering me into buying anything. Hahaha!!! Did I scare her?

Anyway, I enjoyed the treatment very much but I will not take up a package because it is more of a “want” than a “need”.  

P/S: This is not an advertorial. I am only sharing my experience on scalp treatment at Oriental hair solutions. 

What do you get when you fall in love?

When I started out with LZ four years ago, I was skeptical yet determined to make it right. I even blogged about it here. Four years on, we’re engaged and still going strong!!

So what do I get falling in love with LZ?

His trust.

To me, this is the single most important thing in our relationship. I’m glad I’ve gained his trust over the years and he believes me. He will not get jealous or paranoid when I am out with guy friends. It makes us independent as individuals and we don’t see the need to report our whereabouts every hour.

He also trusts that we have a future together and work towards it. He trusts my words, takes me seriously and respects me. I will never trade his trust for anything else in this world.

His recognition. 

I know it sounds superficial, but it really makes a difference. My previous boyfriend had never openly acknowledged our relationship and whenever we were out and met someone, he would let go of my hand and introduced me as his “friend”. Yes I know. Scumbag. 

As for LZ, I remembered he proudly declared that I am his girlfriend when we first got together. He is proud of me and acknowledges our relationship. Two months after we got together, he invited me to his house to meet his family. They welcomed me and dote on me. Now, that’s love. And when someone treats me like this, I reciprocate and make sure he feels the same too!!

His time.

He bothers to listen to me when I talk, rectify the situation when something upsets me and provide support when I needed comfort. Whenever he has good or bad news, he shares with me. He doesn’t ignore me no matter how pissed off he is. Except my family, nobody will care for me as much as he does.

He is constantly leading me in expanding my mental state, so that I can take negative feedbacks to my advantage and control my emotions effectively. I am still at the learning stage and I believe this skill will be useful in the society. Who will be bothered to train me like this? Only him.

His heart.

Happy 4^th anniversary!! ♥

Visiting Beijing – Final day

On our final day in Beijing, we set off early to visit 2 attractions - Temple of Heaven and Yong He Gong Lama Temple.

Early morning at the park

Practicing Taiji

The morning was windy and after a short ride from the hotel, we arrived at the park just before the Temple of Heaven. The Chinese really knows how to keep themselves healthy!! There were grannies playing badminton, grandpas practicing Taiji, senior citizen playing card games or knitting in the park and there was also a mass dance going on!! Such relaxing life, don’t you think? And with weather like that, I won’t mind flexing some muscles too.

Brain exercise for senior citizen

Temple of Heaven

Temple of Heaven is also known as 天坛, originally built in 1420 where Emperors of the Ming and Qing dynasty worship yearly for good harvest. It consists of 3 layers of tiled roof, representing heaven, earth and mortal world. Initially, the roofs were blue, yellow and green respectively. Some years later, an Emperor, whom I can’t recall, changed the color of all the roofs to blue since it was a temple to worship heaven.

Isn't it pretty?

The structure of this temple is supported by 28 wooden pillars arranged in circles to represent the 4 seasons, 12 months and 12 divisions or 時辰 of a day. It had undergone extensive restoration after it was badly damaged during the opium war. It is beautiful and we were wowed by the amazing architecture of the structure. My fingers just couldn't stop snapping the camera shutter.

Interior showcase. See how decorated the pillars were? Such intricate architecture

There is a hall situated beside the main temple and it showcased some artifacts used during the ceremony by Emperors. Apparently, Emperor Kangxi was on the throne for the longest time and Emperor Qianlong visited the Temple of Heaven the most number of times. 

List of Emperors of the Qing dynasty

Ancient wine pots

Next, we visited Yong He Gong Lama Temple, just a short ride away. It is not the typical temple where you will expect to see Shaolin monks, but a Tibetan Buddhist temple very similar to those in western China. Personally, it resembles temples I've seen at Jiu Zhai Gou. The monks wore red robes with yellow headgears. In the olden days, there were red, blue, green etc sect and that particular group we saw belonged to the yellow sect since they wore yellow headgear. What is more amazing about Yong He Gong was that both Emperor Yongzheng and Qianlong grew up there. That is also the final resting place of Emperor Yongzheng. 

Yong He Gong Lama Temple

The Lamas. I realized they wore leather shoes!!

Similar to the palace, Yong He Gong was divided into 5 halls, arranged one after another and separated by courtyards. Each hall has its divine purpose and was stunning in its own way. In every hall, there were once or more statues, and each deity has its own job scope. Sadly, no photography was allowed as it was deemed disrespectful to take pictures of spiritual statues. 

4 languages!! Mongolian, Tibetan, Chinese and Manchu 

Joss sticks

I remembered I was awed by the statue in the last hall. It was a 26 meter tall statue of Maitreya Buddha (18m above ground and 8m underground) craved out from one single piece of sandalwood. When our tour guide said that, all our jaws hit the floor. You have to see it to believe it!! It looked absolutely gorgeous and unbelievable!! I think it may have to take more than a thousand years to grow a tree with with that kind of diameter, and it was from Nepal. Anyway, that statue already made its way into the Guinness book of records. 

Restaurant where we had our final lunch 

 After a quick lunch, we headed to the airport and boarded our flight home. That concludes our short getaway to the ancient city of China. 

Flying home

Visiting Beijing - Day 3

Day 3 of Beijing was my favorite day!!! Thinking about it still makes me grin from ear to ear. *Happiness*

As it was windy the previous night, smog had been blown away and what was left was clear blue sky!! Even our tour guide commented that such prefect day was hard to come by.

After breakfast, we set off at 8 in the morning. Like any other tour, we were brought to some traditional Chinese medicine factory. It was no fun and a waste of time in my opinion since the visit was not in our intended itinerary. I did not take many photos since we did not buy anything. We were supposed to set off for the Great Wall but again, some tour members spent too much time that we can only push the visit till after lunch.

A traditional TCM factory that sell miracle cream 

So that was when the excitement began. As our bus drove closer towards the Great wall, I could no longer contain my excitement, I can’t wait to get off the bus. I was ecstatic!! I jumped around like a little kid and can’t wait to conquer the wall. After a couple of group shots and a toilet break, we began the journey. Time check – 1.30 pm.

View from the carpark

Entrance to the Great Wall and that lady was our tour guide

Isn't it lovely?

Crowded at the beginning

Prefect day!!

It was an amazing feeling to be stepping on something built 600 years ago. Every step was a challenge because it was so steep. The higher I climb the lesser clothes I wore…  Haha!! It was a great workout and I was sweating like mad. LZ was so nice that he helped me carry my sweater and whatever extra load on me. 

A little more to go~

We never thought of giving up and were determined to complete the loop. Finally, after almost an hour, we reached the highest tower. It was surreal. The view from the tower was breathtaking and I was literally out of breath!! Yay, we conquered the Great wall of China!! Time check – 2.20pm. Since we were supposed to meet at the bus at 2.45 pm, we went into the *Ohh shit* mode.

 We reached the top!!

So we began to descend and the faster I walked, the scarier the steps seemed to me. I felt like my legs didn't belonged to me and my eyes could not differentiate steps from flat path. My calf started to ache and the journey seemed never ending.  By the time we reach the bus, it was already 3 pm. We already did our very best to be on time, and we’re glad everyone were genuinely happy for us that we conquered the loop, instead of blaming us for being late. =)

The next place we will be visiting was also one that I looked forward to. It was Empress Dowager Cixi’s favorite place and mine too!! The Summer Palace. Visiting the summer palace in the evening made it extra mesmerizing. As the sun sets behind the impressive lake, our hearts were captivated by the wondrous landscape. What a romantic place!!

Summer Palace

Willow tress swaying in the refreshing wind

The lake

Romantic sunset

The day finally ended after dinner but being extra energetic after our workout at the Great wall, we think it is not time to conclude the night just yet. So, together with another couple, we set off on our own again. This time, we went back to Wangfujin shopping street.

At Wangfujing 

Just fooling around while waiting for the lift

It was a relaxing night just strolling with LZ hand in hand, wandering aimlessly in the busy street of Beijing. That concluded our last night in Beijing. =)

Tip: Bring lip balm and hand moisturizer!! It was extremely dry and if u fancy a romantic kiss, keep your lips sexy~