Back from the dead
I’m not dead to begin with and in fact, nothing close to dead in any way. But I have to admit that the long absence has made me quite rusty on the keyboard and blogging once a month had somehow become a habit. Though greasing the gears will be easy, making the engine run to its once optimum pace will be hard. The reasons for my absence are aplenty, some really trivial but exciting. So this blog of mine is as good as dead. I’ll try to revive it, to the best that I can.
I’m currently sitting in my office, sipping on my green water bottle while typing this. I had just finished writing the “Experimental” part of the paper, so here’s a short break. Thinking back, I’ve not had a proper break for the longest time. Life had never been as exciting/busy/enriching as compared to the last couple of months.
I’m hyperventilating!!! So happy with too many things!!! Forget about weekdays, those are days I’ll be committed to work and nothing else. But when it comes to weekend, I’ll be drained with activities. Be it shopping, gatherings, sports, or any other random activity, I just felt blessed. Am I crazy or what???
Last Saturday, I was in heels when I was out. It wasn’t high, not at all. Just 2.5 inch or so I thought. It was among my favourite pair among the 10 other odd pairs sitting on the shoe rack. Within hours, there was a burning sensation on the fourth toe on both legs!!! Blisters, damn it!!! My heels were not even new to start off with. I ended up taking off the back strap to allow more space for my toes and prevent exaggerating the already swollen toes. My feet were usually accustomed to flats, sandals or shoes on most occasions, but is there a way to wear heels without getting blisters?? Do I really need to tear my hair and wear heels till my skin is thick enough to counter all blisters, or are heels not worth the pain?? Even those silicon gels sold in pharmacies were not a bit helpful for my poor feet. =(
Some girls said heels can trim the calf, and good for exercising balancing skills. It’s crap!!! I think it is more like training leng zai’s back and arms. When my feet suffered, he offered to piggyback me home. Since I think I’m not very light, I was afraid I’ll break his back. I didn’t wish to become a liability, really. But I admit that I enjoyed the piggyback ride home. =)
Maybe I'll consider wearing heels again. *wink*
Happy Mummy's Day
I was browsing through Facebook when I realized how time had flied. Quite a number of friends are already happily married and had started their family at my age. Some are already parents for a few years now and another couple is on their way to parenthood. I am really amazed by how much they had grew over the years, from pampered youngsters to tomorrow’s parents.
Bringing up a child must be really tough, and I’m sure not many are up to it. Parenthood will change a person habit, attitude and social life. Not just the parents, the grandparents also have to make sacrifices. I was touched when I heard Leng Zai dad’s determination to quit smoking on account of his grandchildren. It meant giving up a habit he held for years to exchange for the better health of little lives. Awww… So sweet.
Mummy had given up working in the society ever since she got married. She chose to work from home so as to spend more time with me and my brother, and make sure we don’t mix with bad companion. She’s protective and make sure whoever bully us will lane up in deep shit. I remembered once where there was a guy who picked on me and pulled my hair. I went home crying and the very next day, mummy confronted him. She made him missed his school bus and that had left him stranded in school. Hahaha!!!!
In today’s society, not many married woman are willing to stay at home, especially when expenses are so high. However, they show their love in other ways. Hiring a maid, for instance, ensures that their kids are taken care of, but those mums also take safety precautions such as installing a CCTV to monitor the maid. As for me, I’m still very much a kid myself and wouldn’t be ready to take on the role as someone’s mum for many years to come.
To all the women who had dedicated their lives to their kids and family, Happy Mother’s Day!!!
An unexpected fling
What can be worst than sending a text message to unintended recipient?? And I mean sending a text message meant for a boyfriend to another guy!! Silly me did just that!! I left my friend dumbfounded for a second and laughing out loud for the next couple of hours…
I was lucky enough that he is my good friend and it’s impossible between us. That had saved me from a lot of embarrassment. Still, I need to clarify things with him and drag him down from cloud nine back to earth. He seemed overjoyed to realize I had a “crush” on him!! Wahahaha!!
Here are some screenshots to show you how evil my friend had been…
He laughed and laughed and laughed…
oops!!
If I said I love him or I miss him… I won’t know how to face him anymore!!!!
So he wants to threaten me with that message and refuse to delete it.
Anyway, he knows who should be the intended recipient so I guess it’s alright after all. =)
Hahahaha!!! But still... I think this is funny...
Smile
It has been quite the hiatus, but I'm back with a sprained right shoulder. To make matter worst, I had to load an 8kg mold set onto the lab press machine situated so high up all by myself!! This had gravely agitated the muscles on my shoulder and I can hardly move it now. The knocking of bones against each other disgust me!! I felt as though my arm is dislocated, but I’m pretty sure it is still intact and very much attached to my body.
Breaks are pretty much the best invention ever, thus I am taking a break from lab work today, sitting at my desk and typing away. Many thoughts crossed my mind but I cannot decide on which I should be penning down. To be honest, life is quite mundane and always revolving around work, work and more work.
Freak not, I’ve had enough of work and I wouldn’t use the space here today to update on the progress of my project. Suddenly, I don’t know what to write. It seemed like I’ve lost all inspiration within seconds as I’m staring hard at that smiling yellow cow on the table. Oh yes… Cows… Ever wonder why I started this blog and named it Tatty Cow a few years back??
Seriously, I can hardly remember now. All I know is that it tells a story, whether or not you hear it is another matter. I have been through a lot over the years, aged and had grown wiser. Sometimes, I feel older than my actual age, when my actions in dealing with certain situation stunned myself. In fact, this blog had taught me to believe that I have to respect myself before gaining the respect from others.
And yes, I know I’ve done it when I took the first step in walking out of the shadow that once tied down my self-esteem, realizing that I still love myself and happier than before. No, there is no secret to happiness. Why get affected by others who deemed I’m useless or not up-to-their-mark?? I live life once and I’m determined to make it colourful. I set the standards, I achieve them, and I feel proud of myself. That’s more than enough.
I looked into the mirror to welcome a different me.
I smile.
Starting Afresh and Moving On
Been a month since I wrote. My lappy had been exceptionally slow recently and that just killed my passion to blog. Thus, I have decided to revamp it and start afresh. But before that, I have to choose the important documents and save them into an external hard disk. To be frank, I don’t have many documents, besides my FYP, assignments, a chunk of journals and a hell lot of pictures!!!
Viewing the pictures was like walking down memory lane. I won’t deny that I am one who treasures memories, but I am not a hard disk. Ok, I sound weird… But I mean my memories are unlimited and that memories cannot be “overwrite”.
I don’t know about you, but personally, I feel that certain memories are best left at the bay. I was looking through a set of pictures that were taken months back, and wondering how things had turned so ugly. It wasn’t an amazing journey from the start, but the ride just stopped suddenly like a power failure, at least for me. Perhaps it is a blessing in disguise and a chance for the both of us again. I won’t delete the pictures; neither will I overwrite it. Instead, I will allow them to fade into the background. Who knows?? It might become part of my forgotten memories and when I dig it up a decade later, I will have a good laugh.
2008 was a marvellous year, all year round, and especially so towards the end. To round it up, my project had been proceeding well, my tuition kid was behaving and I was treated to a windfall from cupid. I am happy.
2009 is a brand new start. I am giving myself another chance, to impress my boss with my work, to teach well and pull my kid through PSLE, to foster closer bonds with my family and also to create “our memories” together.
LZ…Whatever happened in the past doesn’t really matter, you can choose to keep or discard. What’s important is the future, and I hope we’ll mould it well. =)
Let's move on!!!
Beautiful excuse
Amidst the jostling crowd,
You shone out against the gloom.
As I opened my smeared eyes in the sickly light of dawn,
All I thought of - was you.
A kiss on my cheek was a sweet surprise,
The card at my gate brought me alive.
Like fireworks that sparkled in the deepening twilight,
You enveloped me with everlasting joy.
Gone were the days, the happy times,
Where you sheltered me like an old oak tree.
You’ve turned into a sheer grey wall of ice,
When you casted me aside for your precious time.
The ocean was a little bigger that night,
Because of the tears you’ve made me cried.
I took a breathe, my heart had sank,
I knew it was never meant to be like that.
My mind was a whirlpool of chaos,
We were worlds apart, you were never mine.
You pleaded with me, with a beautiful excuse,
As tears sprang from my eye, I forgave you.
Time and again, you did it once more,
I took my final breath, my heart had died.
When silence grew like an insurmountable obstacle,
We knew it was time to say goodbye.
Months passed swiftly and then a year,
I hurled myself in my busy world.
Staying up late into moronic hours,
Wishing that life would be much simpler.
When my day became as dark as night,
You walked into my choppy life.
I knew I will be alright,
Where everything had turned out fine.
As lightning flash across the sky,
I was embraced by you with eternal joy.
Anxiety overcame me as seconds ticked by,
My heart has once again, come alive!!
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Just for laugh
(Click for larger view)Hahaha!!! What do you think??
Updates
Phew~ After slogging through 7 and a half hours of lessons without break yesterday, I have decided to sleep till noon and stay home today. I am still feeling drained since it had been a week filled with deadlines. Both the poster and online tests that were due yesterday had taken much of my energy. The poster presentation had turned out well, though I was smoking the teacher with information I didn’t even know existed. I guess presentation works on the basis of 3Cs. Convince, confuse and con. It always works!! Or it is money back guarantee.
That’s my partner – “Calcium” and me in front of our poster.
For the lecture, I was unprepared and could hardly understand the topic. Diffraction, reciprocal lattice, bright field, dark field…. Only 20% was absorbed, and the rest were filtered away. Actually, I start getting nervous when I hardly understand lectures these days, because they were just so hard and I do not have tutorials to fall back on. I think tutorials really help students understand the topic. =(
On a bright side, 14 October just passed and I’ve turned 23. I never fail to blog about my birthday each year so it won’t be an exception this year too. 23 had once seemed so old when I was a teenager, and I always wish that time will stop when I turn 21, but obviously my wish was not granted.
This year, I was singing myself a birthday song under the romantic moonlight while walking home alone when the clock struck 12. My last traumatizing encounter of age 22 was that I saw a bangala peeing along the roadside under the streetlight. Horrified, I squeak like a mouse and crossed over to the other side of the road immediately. Shortly after, well wishes came pouring in to dilute the gross sight. What a way to end the day…
My birthday this year is slightly different from the previous years, with the fact that I am now single. Well, let me just come clean and face it. I do not wish to bad mouth him and what had happened is solely between the two of us. The main reason why we had gone separate way was due to the fact that I was an agnostic polytheist while he is a monotheist. End of story.
Anyway, I do enjoy my birthday; especially the few celebrations with some friends whom I never thought will give a damn about me. People like yl and derrick were the two who had given me a shock but brighten up my day, while Mr Kennedy and Mr Pole never fails to put a smile back onto my gloomy face. Not to mention, some sec school and college friends I spent over the weekend had also given me a push in life.
That’s Mr Pole, who insisted that we ate a chicken with 4 legs.
That’s Mr Pole puking after eradicating the entire meat platter.
Zhen do not wish to be featured, so I’ll let her have a happy face. =)
I *heart* rus!!!
I *heart* manda too!!!
As I grow older, I feel that my birthday is just another day. But this year, amazing things just keep happening. I woke up in the morning with a beautiful sunflower blooming outside the window. Yes, my sunflower is finally blossoming after 3 months!!
Taken on my birthday, even before I brush my teeth!!
So to speak, I grew myself a birthday gift. However, my plant is a complete flop because it never grew straight and the flower is facing the floor. Isn’t it obvious from the picture?? Right, first attempt failed. I will try this out again soon.
My mum’s plant is growing straight up, why is mine like that?? *scratch head*
Birthday presents that I received this year is even more amazing. Don’t believe?? I’ll show.
A panda-cow with sunflower
A nice long belt
A gorgeous brown shoulder bag
Lots of snacks
And an aeroplane
How can I not be happy??
TGIF
So happy!! TGIF and I am already immersing myself into the long awaited weekend since this morning!! Not to mention, I just cleared my polymer quiz after mugging for 2 days, or was it 3?? And yes, I have not updated my blog the entire month which had been the same interface; even I don’t bother to visit my blog anymore. But an email from flobber chatterbox that threatened to delete my account had prompted me to start blogging again. So yes, I had lost all my composures and wouldn’t it be nice to start all over again??
Life had been hectic this semester with lessons packed back to back for a week earlier last month. Actually, I am starting to get used to my kind of lifestyle, that is, 5 and a half days dedicated to school work and the rest of my time reserved for friends and family. Everything went well as planned thus far, and I am feeling the adrenaline rush each time Friday arrives!! =)
To be very honest, I am glad I chose this path and enjoying my ride. Not that I am ignorant of the global economic slowdown, the F1, the China food scare (not again!!) or news of transport charging up by 4cents while electric bills to rocket 22%. I am aware of all that’s happening… but I am still optimistic.
Just my two cents worth. What happens tomorrow is affected by what we had done today. We reap what we sow, fair and square. The Americans knew their past actions might lead to catastrophic disaster, so they deserve a lesson learnt. The Chinese choose to taint the milk with melamine, so the world banned their products. No fault in that, and I mean, serve them right!! But I missed the white rabbit sweet. =(
Speaking about China milk, a friend sent a rather racist but hilarious sms a week ago. In the message, directed to mostly guys, read –
If your girlfriend or wife is from china, do not drink her milk. Subjected to approval by AVA. I almost died laughing!! I pity the farmers who had to pour away the milk, because it was not their fault but had to share the losses and ruined reputation with the few black sheep. In short, don’t blame the cows, blame the sheeps. It was also a pity to pour away tons of fresh milk when it might have saved millions of starving children if that had been sent to poorer countries around the world. Yeah, I think I have a heart of gold.
And I really do!! Just 2 weeks ago, also on a Friday, I was approached by a friend to do volunteering work at a home. It was a humble place, opposite SRJC, that housed teenage girls that had experienced domestic violence, been sexually abused or had just been released from girls’ home. We did gardening with minimal tools, like scissors to cut grass…-_- but it was the interaction that amused me. Some girls had tattoos and it seemed to me the F word was screaming from their face each time they were irritated. But they had very good emotional control and never did I hear a single indecent word throughout my 4 hours of interaction with them. With that, I salute them and they truly deserve a second chance. Every good deal comes with a price… My arms were sun burnt and are no longer as evenly tanned as before.
As for F1, I caught a glimpse of the pre-race from the National Library and it was truly amazing!! “Superb” if I were to describe in one word. If not for the family portrait taking on Sunday, I will be down at the Grand prix to witness how Massa was shoved back to 18th position in his Ferrari, or how many others had their cars going up in flame after ramping into the wall. Hahaha!!! Well, I might still have chances in the future.
Oh yes, in 2 weeks time, I’ll turn 23. *Ahem* How time flies. It is a mixed feeling, and I already know I will be celebrating with my tuition kid on my big day. But I will also be having a post Bday celebration with my secondary school friends and jl who deliberately called to book a slot in my schedule. Feel kind of lucky to have friends standing by me. I’m so blessed!!
Totally random
It must been a really long time since I blogged because I cannot even remember my blogger password!!! Tried 4 times before getting it correct… Phew~ I think my memory is failing me.
Things just keep accumulating in my life, and within a short span of time, I realized how lonely I am. Is it really true when a person says – the higher you climb, the lonelier you will be?? It had been a month since I started afresh as graduate student and I am really in love with my project. To put it simply, I am in fact, satisfied.
But I am greedy. I want so much more. I really miss undergraduate years, my truckload of friends, and the ones who will slog through projects and deadlines together. Gone were those days. Now, I sit in the graduate room like one of the minorities in a huge community. To be exact, we were seated in columns of 6, and my neighbours were either from China, India or Indonesia. I am taking a corner seat next to a China man. I don’t know him yet, not even his name. But I guess he is one of those easy going person, so please do not prove me wrong. Seated behind me is my friend from India, and his name is Prata. The thought of him make me hungry, and I hope he showers daily. He’s a nice guy and I am his first friend when we met in the office on the day of matriculation. Seated adjacent behind me is my fellow course mate from undergraduate year, the well known Harry Potter!!! Ok, except he lacks the scar and the magic power.
The other day when I said I was lonely on facebook, the funniest reply I got was from cute meerah. I have answered your question, didn’t I?? Though I am not the only Singaporean around, we are still considered the minorities now.
For the past one month, my life was about reading journals and money making. I am starting to pick up knowledge required and I am rather pleased with my performance so far. As for money making, my tuition job is not giving me too much satisfaction but the money comes in just fine. Speaking about my tuition kid, he is one of those atrocious kids in the class. As Michael Phelps and Usain Bolt aim for the shortest time to break world records, my kid aim for the lowest score to break the Guinness world record!!! Goodness me!!! I think I will lose my job soon at this rate…
Speaking about money, let’s sidetrack a bit here.
Graduate students are very poor. Let me emphasize – VERY POOR!!! I was merely even surviving on the meagre salary I got as a tuition teacher, and had been waiting for the end of the month since the beginning of school. And till now, this very day and time, my stipend is not in yet!!! I checked my account this morning, anticipating a sudden surge in my bank account but nothing of that sort happened. I wonder when the money will be in, though not a lot, but enough to pull me through.
I was complaining to my brother this morning and he suggested I should protest. Like you know, gather my China, India and Indonesia counterparts to speaker’s corner with big cardboards and start protesting. And screaming out from the cardboards are the words “Scholarship Scam!!!” Hilarious!!!
Okok, the above was just wild imaginations.
Weekends past swiftly, and I realized friends are my energy booster. Yesterday, I was with my F5+1 minus 1 in town. (Rus!! Pictures??) Though it was a short gathering, I felt rejuvenated. The prata we had was just great, and I might bring Prata along for some prata soon… Chilling out at indochine was cool, especially with live entertainment by that tranny that left most of us with jaws hanging in mid air…
Should end here and turn in for the night. Lessons till 9pm tomorrow!! Good luck to me and no more Monday blues, people!!
08 08 08
The first thing I noticed on this special day where the 3 numbers on the date unintentionally falls perfectly as 08 08 08, was a long queue outside Singapore Pools. I was least surprise over the queue since 8 is an auspicious number to the Chinese, and its literal meaning is “get rich”. What is the easiest way to get rich?? No doubt it is gambling. Now, I wonder if any pregnant woman will undergo caesarian just so that her baby will be born on this auspicious day and most probably lead a life like a little tyrant.
Even the Beijing Olympics have chosen their grand opening ceremony today. Not only do they want the date to be 08 08 08, they even wanted the time to be 8.08pm tonight!! Now, we know the value of number 8 in the hearts of millions of Chinese…
For me, 08 08 08 is a day I realized I had not held a pen for ages. During the graduate communication class just now, I realized my handwriting suck big time!!! The purpose of today’s tutorial was a “diagnosis English test” to prove our standards, and eliminate ourselves from some daunting English workshops.
The topic we had to write was rather board, but I was glad I still practice writing proper English on my blog, so it was not as bad as I have thought. But still, grammatical errors are hard to avoid sometimes. As I was writing my essay, I cannot stop to puke at my handwriting.
However, after comparing my handwriting with my fellow classmates from other parts of Asia, I still felt content. Initially I was panicking when my time was almost up and I was still halfway through my second page, when my classmates were writing on the fourth page. Then I took a peep at their paper and realized they were writing cursively and they wrote in font size 24 with double line spacing. No wonder they could easily fill up 4 pages of blank papers. *roll eyes*
But no matter what, I still keep my fingers crossed regarding the results because the consequences of not getting through would mean a waste of a-lot-of time.
Hmmm… Let’s predict what will happen on 09 09 09 next year.
I guess there will be a truckload of couples getting married on that day, a lot of pregnant women undergoing caesarian and a darn long queue outside Singapore Pools. Personally, I hope 09 09 09 would be an eventful day for me. =)
Let’s wait and see.
